All because I vomit

I get sick on a wed, go to primary care, they send me to a gastro specialist in Louisville who orders a cat scan on Thur. I drink copious amounts of I don't know what, have said cat scan. The radiologist says go see a surgeon in like 5.2 minutes and then mentions-I notice you have your tubes tied. This was weird because I don't know him and because it has nothing to do with what is ailing me. I guess it was his way of saying nice shirt only in radiologist lingo. Finally take disc of scan to surgeon and as I try to give it to his nurse she says he doesn't need it he is old school. I wasn't sure what that meant. Old school like I will be biting on a bullet or Old school like he is really hip and rebelling against mainstream culture. That is still a mystery. Bottom line, appendix is out and 12 staples are holding my intestines in their luggage department. However, the orginal reason I kept getting sick is still up for further testing and my appendix coming out was just accidental find. What did you do this week?

crazy woman on campus

I jumped back in the pool of higher education this week and have managed to make a complete fool out of my self in every class. I submit the list for your approval.

1. Music appreciation - on my first quiz I wrote word painting wall- that's right word painting wall, the correct answer would be text painting.

2. Religious studies - My prof was a little disgruntled when I ask for a vocab list from a class I missed last week when she finally decided I had been put in my proper place she gave it to me she said "well it's gonna count as late" I was thinking whatever and thought to myself say nothing, instead I said whatever.

3. Psychology of learning - showed up to a Tuesday night class on thursday

4. Psychology of aging - left my ringer on which played an An All American Rejects. catchy? yes, appropriate - not sure.

random thoughts

Suicide bombers are a lot less selfish than I am.

In an effort to not look foolish, 25 people will stand outside a door just because one of them said it is locked and usually that person was just guessing to begin with.

Have people take a number and stand in line and they will not budge until there number is called.

Everyone will have a least one crap job in their lifetime.

That is all.

The library cafe, a pool for peeves

Because I don't want to take money out of emergency savings, I am forced to used a computer at the library, which I have avoided. However, today the campus IT room is closed and I had some work to do-so I am here, at the library, sharing space with people who like to ignore the social norms most of us cling too. Okay, look left, the gal next to me is using her gum as a means of Morse code and I am assuming the really loud pop at the end would be the period at the end of a sentence. Should I tell her the cold war ended? In front of me I have your every day run of the mill cell phone whisper geni. The person who thinks that by whispering really loudly has indeed complied with the no cell phone use, I think his cousin was in the IT lab last week. Pen clicker is two desks down and heavy breather is four down. Oh and our regional porn dude is here. Don't confuse him with the heavy breather that are two different folks. they don't sit next So, I am paying the sitter to take a dive in the pool of peeves. I am reconsidering my definition of emergency and perhaps we will be going to best buy this weekend.

Things that broke this week

You all have been waiting for it:

dryer hose
computer
my patience
kitchen chair
a $30 batman
my patience
shoes
blood vessels around my eyes during a great vomit session

The Clingenpeel method

Most obits smooth over the details using terms like, left this life or entered into rest-Not this family. They just put it out there. If they are true to form, the rest of his obit should read like this.

Bennie was put in a overpriced wooden box,
you can come stare at him on Tuesday.





Kokomo Tribune; Kokomo, Indiana - Bennie Lee Clingenpeel: "Bennie Lee Clingenpeel
Sept. 6, 1932 - June 1, 2009

Bennie Lee Clingenpeel, 76, Kokomo, was found dead Monday, June 1, 2009, at his home. He was born Sept. 6, 1932, in Clinton County, to Roy J. and Lillian R. (Morris) Clingenpeel."

Josh, the dance

My son has had an imaginary brother for 2 years now, that's right 2. He is an older fellow and has resided in California, Florida and occasionally in Kentucky, as you can see he is a bit of a nomad and at one time he had 2 other sisters and a bird. Sometimes Josh gives Liam the okay to do things we veto and here lately he calls Liam on his cell phone at really bad times, like bed time for instance. Sometimes Josh comes with us on trips, other times he is busy but he doesn't like to tell us with what. Recently, Josh taught Liam to break dance. So, my son did what only a boy with so much rhythm could do, he broke it down at his class talent show. I love it that he was so brave, so unaware of himself and what he was risking. I just don't want him to ever be bothered with what other people think and let it stop him. For the record, when I was his age I sang a beautiful rendition of I'm in the Lord's army (complete with a salute) for my class talent show.