Let me out of here

Today was the first full day of school for my little guy. I have been dreaming of this day for almost a year. To have a house that can stay clean for more than an hour, down time, projects I can finally get too. A stay at home mom's version of success. I was a little sad at first, now I am a lot sad. I have spent 5 years with this guy, just about every day, teaching him, talking to him, interacting with him and some days the conversations I have with him is the only other "grown up" talk I get until my husband gets home. Today, it is very quiet. I miss him. He was ready to go, he has always been a people person. He wants to be around other kids 24/7. My son thrives when he is around other kids and gets really down when he is at home too much. Of course, like many other first time parents, I think of the nest analogy. Us pushing him to the edge of the nest, giving him a nudge, the little bird would hang on for dear life, only to drop and see he didn't die. That is not us. Instead, my little bird has pushed us out of the way and jumped all by himself. Don't get me wrong, I am happy he gets to start his life. He will be happy, we will be happy. Right now, I want him back in my nest, bugging me to play. This is good for me because I have at times taken my time with my kids for granted, so I think I have been pushed out of the nest a little bit too. The message for me today is BE PRESENT, everyday because one day my second little guy will want to jump too. I need a tissue.