no pants required

Me: Why don't you have your pants on

6 yr old son: They are outside

Me: I thought you were camping in the backyard

6 yr old: I don't need pants to go camping, I'm a boy. Girls need to wear pants and a hat

girl in the next bed

Dear girl in the next bed,



Hearing you and your family light up the night sky with the f bomb was especially heartwarming and I didn't realize that your dad could foghorn burp for hours. His ability to snore over your cell phone play list is admirable. I do agree that your drunk posse should be able to sleep on the floor and I shared your joy that they didn't get busted. And having a complete stranger urinate on the bathroom floor does make you giggle. I remember just like it was yesterday the midnight picnics that you and your mom shared and yes, turning on the lights did create the perfect dining atmosphere. Most of all I enjoyed the sense of adventure we shared as you didn't like to wash your hands.....ever, nothing says excitement like guess which knob i didn't touch.

All because I vomit

I get sick on a wed, go to primary care, they send me to a gastro specialist in Louisville who orders a cat scan on Thur. I drink copious amounts of I don't know what, have said cat scan. The radiologist says go see a surgeon in like 5.2 minutes and then mentions-I notice you have your tubes tied. This was weird because I don't know him and because it has nothing to do with what is ailing me. I guess it was his way of saying nice shirt only in radiologist lingo. Finally take disc of scan to surgeon and as I try to give it to his nurse she says he doesn't need it he is old school. I wasn't sure what that meant. Old school like I will be biting on a bullet or Old school like he is really hip and rebelling against mainstream culture. That is still a mystery. Bottom line, appendix is out and 12 staples are holding my intestines in their luggage department. However, the orginal reason I kept getting sick is still up for further testing and my appendix coming out was just accidental find. What did you do this week?

crazy woman on campus

I jumped back in the pool of higher education this week and have managed to make a complete fool out of my self in every class. I submit the list for your approval.

1. Music appreciation - on my first quiz I wrote word painting wall- that's right word painting wall, the correct answer would be text painting.

2. Religious studies - My prof was a little disgruntled when I ask for a vocab list from a class I missed last week when she finally decided I had been put in my proper place she gave it to me she said "well it's gonna count as late" I was thinking whatever and thought to myself say nothing, instead I said whatever.

3. Psychology of learning - showed up to a Tuesday night class on thursday

4. Psychology of aging - left my ringer on which played an An All American Rejects. catchy? yes, appropriate - not sure.

random thoughts

Suicide bombers are a lot less selfish than I am.

In an effort to not look foolish, 25 people will stand outside a door just because one of them said it is locked and usually that person was just guessing to begin with.

Have people take a number and stand in line and they will not budge until there number is called.

Everyone will have a least one crap job in their lifetime.

That is all.

The library cafe, a pool for peeves

Because I don't want to take money out of emergency savings, I am forced to used a computer at the library, which I have avoided. However, today the campus IT room is closed and I had some work to do-so I am here, at the library, sharing space with people who like to ignore the social norms most of us cling too. Okay, look left, the gal next to me is using her gum as a means of Morse code and I am assuming the really loud pop at the end would be the period at the end of a sentence. Should I tell her the cold war ended? In front of me I have your every day run of the mill cell phone whisper geni. The person who thinks that by whispering really loudly has indeed complied with the no cell phone use, I think his cousin was in the IT lab last week. Pen clicker is two desks down and heavy breather is four down. Oh and our regional porn dude is here. Don't confuse him with the heavy breather that are two different folks. they don't sit next So, I am paying the sitter to take a dive in the pool of peeves. I am reconsidering my definition of emergency and perhaps we will be going to best buy this weekend.

Things that broke this week

You all have been waiting for it:

dryer hose
computer
my patience
kitchen chair
a $30 batman
my patience
shoes
blood vessels around my eyes during a great vomit session