Technology gone wrong

Seriously, today I had very ominous e-mails from strange places. Weight Watchers sent me an e-mail that said "Why aren't you loosing weight", I was eating breakfast at the time. I think they have agents in my neighborhood and man are they judgemental. Then classmates sent a message that said "we found your friends", I think there might be a ransom to follow. If you are a friend of mine, I apologize for your abduction. Then my facebook page said, Patti, find out what God has to say to you. Apparently he has been talking behind my back.

vampires

Liam: I had the craziest dream last night, ya I said crazy

Me: What was it

Liam: I dreamed a vampire was chasing me but I ran away

Me: Was it scary

Liam: Well..... everyone knows how I feel about vampires

no pants required

Me: Why don't you have your pants on

6 yr old son: They are outside

Me: I thought you were camping in the backyard

6 yr old: I don't need pants to go camping, I'm a boy. Girls need to wear pants and a hat

girl in the next bed

Dear girl in the next bed,



Hearing you and your family light up the night sky with the f bomb was especially heartwarming and I didn't realize that your dad could foghorn burp for hours. His ability to snore over your cell phone play list is admirable. I do agree that your drunk posse should be able to sleep on the floor and I shared your joy that they didn't get busted. And having a complete stranger urinate on the bathroom floor does make you giggle. I remember just like it was yesterday the midnight picnics that you and your mom shared and yes, turning on the lights did create the perfect dining atmosphere. Most of all I enjoyed the sense of adventure we shared as you didn't like to wash your hands.....ever, nothing says excitement like guess which knob i didn't touch.

All because I vomit

I get sick on a wed, go to primary care, they send me to a gastro specialist in Louisville who orders a cat scan on Thur. I drink copious amounts of I don't know what, have said cat scan. The radiologist says go see a surgeon in like 5.2 minutes and then mentions-I notice you have your tubes tied. This was weird because I don't know him and because it has nothing to do with what is ailing me. I guess it was his way of saying nice shirt only in radiologist lingo. Finally take disc of scan to surgeon and as I try to give it to his nurse she says he doesn't need it he is old school. I wasn't sure what that meant. Old school like I will be biting on a bullet or Old school like he is really hip and rebelling against mainstream culture. That is still a mystery. Bottom line, appendix is out and 12 staples are holding my intestines in their luggage department. However, the orginal reason I kept getting sick is still up for further testing and my appendix coming out was just accidental find. What did you do this week?

crazy woman on campus

I jumped back in the pool of higher education this week and have managed to make a complete fool out of my self in every class. I submit the list for your approval.

1. Music appreciation - on my first quiz I wrote word painting wall- that's right word painting wall, the correct answer would be text painting.

2. Religious studies - My prof was a little disgruntled when I ask for a vocab list from a class I missed last week when she finally decided I had been put in my proper place she gave it to me she said "well it's gonna count as late" I was thinking whatever and thought to myself say nothing, instead I said whatever.

3. Psychology of learning - showed up to a Tuesday night class on thursday

4. Psychology of aging - left my ringer on which played an An All American Rejects. catchy? yes, appropriate - not sure.

random thoughts

Suicide bombers are a lot less selfish than I am.

In an effort to not look foolish, 25 people will stand outside a door just because one of them said it is locked and usually that person was just guessing to begin with.

Have people take a number and stand in line and they will not budge until there number is called.

Everyone will have a least one crap job in their lifetime.

That is all.