To Gay or not to Gay

Did the title shock you? Is it a taboo subject? For me it is not. No, I am not gay, I am a woman married to a man. I don't clarify that because I would be embarrassed if someone thought I was gay. I clarify that so that my words aren't viewed as someone who is pushing an agenda. I have a deep faith in God, I believe in right and wrong. I just don't know where this subject fits in and I don't want to know. I believe Paul mentions it but can't find anywhere (although I may be wrong) that Jesus does. What does that mean? I don't know. Jesus ate lunch with hookers and drunks, I don't read him spending his time telling them you are wrong, you are hookers and drunks. People of faith like to use this as an example of God's unconditional acceptance and love, his humility, but don't want to apply it in other situations. I have some friends, who believe that this is the way God made them and have relationships AND I have others who don't know and have chosen to remain single. Either way, I don't care. By the way, if I was gay...Angelina Joile would be my choice.

living gratefully

This is my deep thought for this week, maybe this month.... Living gratefully- to me this means operating my life in a way that shows that everything is enough. For me, there is rumbling in my spirit in two specific areas. Money & Food. I have occasionally spent beyond our means. I shall come clean now, I have done that more than occasionally. Food, I have eaten way too much, all too often. I have lived in a way that says /not enough, what you have given me is not enough. The truth is that I have more than enough, really more than enough. Not in the humble, I'll be happy with what I have attitude but I have the cold hard facts to prove I have enough. A moment of clarity, when my eyes have been blurred and my thoughts foggy.

Full steam ahead.

I'm still looking for a picture I like for my profile. This has caused me quite a bit of stress and I'm not even sure why. It's a picture for pity sake. Will people not read my blog because they don't like my pores? I suppose it's possible. I know where I am headed in the looks department. My great grandmother was full blooded Indian. I've seen it first hand with my own mother and aunts. We don't age well, in fact we kind of end up looking like Johnny Cash, really, we do. The Johnny Cash from his last video. In some sense it takes the worry out of wrinkles I mean if you end up looking like another gender, are wrinkles the worst of your problems? Craig is destined to look like the Al from Toy Story II. He is very handsome now and I'm sure he will be handsome forever, but in all honesty, we will end up looking like interracial transgender gay couple from a pixar film. mmmm tasty.

More to kill

I bought some more plants yesterday. I don't know why, I am not good with flowers, Have never been good with flowers and I'm pretty sure one day the trees are going to fall on me out of spite. I want to apologize to mother nature right now. I think I'm a serial killer, I can't stop, I need a plant fix. They look so good. I will take a pic and post it. A before and after shot. They should create a department of plant services, to investigate plant abuse and remove the plants from homes like mine. I'm off to drive on some grass.

Did you ever.....

did you ever wonder what happens if you drop anything through the crack in the elevator floors? You know the ones right below the threshold. Neither had I until today. My son had my keys and as the door to the elevator opened he dropped them right in that 3 inch crack in the doorway. This is what happens if you drop anything through the crack in the elevator floor. They have to find some guy in the building maintenance department who is in the middle of something way more important than you, to come and lock the upper floor elevators, walk down 5 flights of stairs and open the hatch to the floor and jump down and fish them out. This happened at lunch time with cranky, hungry children. awesome.

What is wrong with me

I woke up at 5:30 this morning. That is not the problem. The baby woke up looking for his pacifier, which we could not find. This annoyed me because I always put extras (as in more than one) back in the basket, next to the crib, next to the nightlight to see the thorns in my side when they are needed- say at 5:30 in the morning. God love the man, but I can not get Craig to sign on to this mysterious program. This is where I lost my mind. I needed to discuss it right then, not in one hour when we would be awake and nice, but right then. After the ridiculous timing of the pacifier debate) I decided to bring up his guitar and music left scattered all over the family room floor-2nd day in a row. I thought I was nice about it, but really at 5:30 in the morning, how nice could I be? This is not my style, usually I just deal with what is- instead of what should be. Having this kind of conversation in the wee hours of dawn is just stupid. I had to call Craig and say sorry (about the timing). What is wrong with me? I'm going to blame it on global warming.

Because I know

Have you ever thought of how much our children can teach us about God? Right now, my son is in his crib, crying his eyes right out of his skull. He is very tired-only I don't think he knows it yet. You see, I know him. I have been learning his habits for a year now. Just about every moment in my life is spent watching him. I can see the way he gets very quiet just before he needs to sleep or the way he starts to rub his forehead on his blanket right before he can't stand it anymore. I also know that if he doesn't rest he will not function the rest of the day. He will be cranky and nothing with be enjoyable with him or for him. If he doesn't give up, he will be exhausted and unable to rest. I think God does that for us too. He watches us, He know us. He can let us cry because he knows we need to rest.