Perfectly P

Dear Adam and Karen Owens

2009-11-06T09:46:00.001-08:00

You knew the cost of loving someone so fragile, yet you gave your hearts like the next thousand years were yours for the taking. You have endured what us parents fear in the deepest recesses of our minds with hope. I am struck by the agonizing choices you have made and how your only concerns were for giving your Gavin the best possible life that you could. When given the option to keep him here you chose to let him go because you loved him more than you loved yourselves, knowing what that decision would mean. because of that, I know that he is taking more love with him than any of us can comprehend. You have taught us to love with abandon. My human mind can not wrap itself around these circumstances but my heart is resolute that God is with us, always.

http://www.gavinowens.com/

Talk amongst yourselves

2009-11-05T07:10:00.000-08:00

A South Carolina man was busted for having sex with a horse, while on probation for having sex with the same horse.
Rodell Vereen, 50, was arrested Monday night in the throes of bestiality by the filly's shotgun-toting owner, who also has video surveillance of the perverse act. Read more: http://www.nydailynews.com/news/2009/07/29/2009-07-29_south_carolina_man_busted_for_having_sex_with_horse.html#ixzz0VzwXGVLA

SOMEONE BUY THIS MAN A PROSTITUTE

Light a Candle

2009-11-04T05:12:00.000-08:00

This made CNN headline news:

Atlanta, Georgia (CNN) -- The H1N1 virus has afflicted another celebrity victim.
Shawn Stockman of the R&B group Boyz II Men has been diagnosed with the illness, fellow group members Wanya Morris and Nathan Morris told CNN.

I would like to point out that the H1N1, as far as I can tell, has no motivation to attack poor Shawn Stockman. However, I think they got into a disagreement once, but they patched things up. We should be very afraid - if celebrities aren't safe then think about the fate that awaits the rest of us. I mean.......celebrities, our sacred cows. Doesn't the virus have any respect at all? Could it be HN1 is not a R& B fan? No. According to CNN, "Stockman joins a growing list of stars who have fallen prey to the swine flu, including the Backstreet Boys' Brian Littrell and "Harry Potter" star Rupert Grint." Run! Its after pop music and the movies. We are all doomed.

Technology gone wrong

2009-10-19T16:12:00.001-07:00

Seriously, today I had very ominous e-mails from strange places. Weight Watchers sent me an e-mail that said "Why aren't you loosing weight", I was eating breakfast at the time. I think they have agents in my neighborhood and man are they judgemental. Then classmates sent a message that said "we found your friends", I think there might be a ransom to follow. If you are a friend of mine, I apologize for your abduction. Then my facebook page said, Patti, find out what God has to say to you. Apparently he has been talking behind my back.

vampires

2009-10-16T06:17:00.000-07:00

Liam: I had the craziest dream last night, ya I said crazy

Me: What was it

Liam: I dreamed a vampire was chasing me but I ran away

Me: Was it scary

Liam: Well..... everyone knows how I feel about vampires

no pants required

2009-10-03T19:18:00.000-07:00

Me: Why don't you have your pants on

6 yr old son: They are outside

Me: I thought you were camping in the backyard

6 yr old: I don't need pants to go camping, I'm a boy. Girls need to wear pants and a hat

girl in the next bed

2009-10-03T16:38:00.000-07:00

Dear girl in the next bed,

Hearing you and your family light up the night sky with the f bomb was especially heartwarming and I didn't realize that your dad could foghorn burp for hours. His ability to snore over your cell phone play list is admirable. I do agree that your drunk posse should be able to sleep on the floor and I shared your joy that they didn't get busted. And having a complete stranger urinate on the bathroom floor does make you giggle. I remember just like it was yesterday the midnight picnics that you and your mom shared and yes, turning on the lights did create the perfect dining atmosphere. Most of all I enjoyed the sense of adventure we shared as you didn't like to wash your hands.....ever, nothing says excitement like guess which knob i didn't touch.

All because I vomit

2009-09-20T06:58:00.000-07:00

I get sick on a wed, go to primary care, they send me to a gastro specialist in Louisville who orders a cat scan on Thur. I drink copious amounts of I don't know what, have said cat scan. The radiologist says go see a surgeon in like 5.2 minutes and then mentions-I notice you have your tubes tied. This was weird because I don't know him and because it has nothing to do with what is ailing me. I guess it was his way of saying nice shirt only in radiologist lingo. Finally take disc of scan to surgeon and as I try to give it to his nurse she says he doesn't need it he is old school. I wasn't sure what that meant. Old school like I will be biting on a bullet or Old school like he is really hip and rebelling against mainstream culture. That is still a mystery. Bottom line, appendix is out and 12 staples are holding my intestines in their luggage department. However, the orginal reason I kept getting sick is still up for further testing and my appendix coming out was just accidental find. What did you do this week?

crazy woman on campus

2009-09-03T19:14:00.000-07:00

I jumped back in the pool of higher education this week and have managed to make a complete fool out of my self in every class. I submit the list for your approval.

1. Music appreciation - on my first quiz I wrote word painting wall- that's right word painting wall, the correct answer would be text painting.

2. Religious studies - My prof was a little disgruntled when I ask for a vocab list from a class I missed last week when she finally decided I had been put in my proper place she gave it to me she said "well it's gonna count as late" I was thinking whatever and thought to myself say nothing, instead I said whatever.

3. Psychology of learning - showed up to a Tuesday night class on thursday

4. Psychology of aging - left my ringer on which played an An All American Rejects. catchy? yes, appropriate - not sure.

random thoughts

2009-08-17T07:20:00.000-07:00

Suicide bombers are a lot less selfish than I am.

In an effort to not look foolish, 25 people will stand outside a door just because one of them said it is locked and usually that person was just guessing to begin with.

Have people take a number and stand in line and they will not budge until there number is called.

Everyone will have a least one crap job in their lifetime.

That is all.

The library cafe, a pool for peeves

2009-07-10T06:54:00.001-07:00

Because I don't want to take money out of emergency savings, I am forced to used a computer at the library, which I have avoided. However, today the campus IT room is closed and I had some work to do-so I am here, at the library, sharing space with people who like to ignore the social norms most of us cling too. Okay, look left, the gal next to me is using her gum as a means of Morse code and I am assuming the really loud pop at the end would be the period at the end of a sentence. Should I tell her the cold war ended? In front of me I have your every day run of the mill cell phone whisper geni. The person who thinks that by whispering really loudly has indeed complied with the no cell phone use, I think his cousin was in the IT lab last week. Pen clicker is two desks down and heavy breather is four down. Oh and our regional porn dude is here. Don't confuse him with the heavy breather that are two different folks. they don't sit next So, I am paying the sitter to take a dive in the pool of peeves. I am reconsidering my definition of emergency and perhaps we will be going to best buy this weekend.

Things that broke this week

2009-07-08T07:36:00.000-07:00

You all have been waiting for it:

dryer hose
computer
my patience
kitchen chair
a $30 batman
my patience
shoes
blood vessels around my eyes during a great vomit session

The Clingenpeel method

2009-06-05T05:53:00.000-07:00

Most obits smooth over the details using terms like, left this life or entered into rest-Not this family. They just put it out there. If they are true to form, the rest of his obit should read like this.

Bennie was put in a overpriced wooden box,
you can come stare at him on Tuesday.

Kokomo Tribune; Kokomo, Indiana - Bennie Lee Clingenpeel: "Bennie Lee Clingenpeel
Sept. 6, 1932 - June 1, 2009

Bennie Lee Clingenpeel, 76, Kokomo, was found dead Monday, June 1, 2009, at his home. He was born Sept. 6, 1932, in Clinton County, to Roy J. and Lillian R. (Morris) Clingenpeel."

Josh, the dance

2009-06-02T02:57:00.000-07:00

My son has had an imaginary brother for 2 years now, that's right 2. He is an older fellow and has resided in California, Florida and occasionally in Kentucky, as you can see he is a bit of a nomad and at one time he had 2 other sisters and a bird. Sometimes Josh gives Liam the okay to do things we veto and here lately he calls Liam on his cell phone at really bad times, like bed time for instance. Sometimes Josh comes with us on trips, other times he is busy but he doesn't like to tell us with what. Recently, Josh taught Liam to break dance. So, my son did what only a boy with so much rhythm could do, he broke it down at his class talent show. I love it that he was so brave, so unaware of himself and what he was risking. I just don't want him to ever be bothered with what other people think and let it stop him. For the record, when I was his age I sang a beautiful rendition of I'm in the Lord's army (complete with a salute) for my class talent show.

ruby and ditty

2009-05-21T09:31:00.000-07:00

Kokomo Tribune; Kokomo, Indiana - Ruby P. Fox: "Ruby P. Fox
Sept. 7, 1929 - May 20, 2009
Ruby P. Fox, 95, Tipton, passed away on Wednesday, May 20, 2009, at Tipton Hospital. She was born in Jasper County on Sept. 22, 1913, to Clyde Madison and Dora Ellen (Price) Burris. Ruby married Ditty Plake on Sept. 7, 1929, and he passed away on Aug. 18, 1983. She married Ernest A. Fox in 1963, and he passed away in 1996.

Ruby had attended Ash Street Wesleyan Church in Tipton and Family Worship Center of Kokomo. She retired in 1976 from F.M.C. with more than 30 years of service.

She is survived by her children, Ruby J. and husband Albert Earl Wylie, Celina, Tenn., Earl A. and wife Cyrilynk Plake, Burkburnett, Texas, Sherri A. and husband James L. Osborn, Tipton, Arletta L. and husband Paul R. Baxter, Tipton, Charles W. and wife Carol E. Plake, Tipton, and Vickie and husband Fred J. Dickey, Frankfort; a daughter-in-law, Cassandra Plake, Goldsmith; sister, Dorris Tirey, Westfield; and a brother, Richard Burris, Tipton. She is also survived by 25 grandchildren, 38 great-grandchildren, and 21 great-great-grandchildren.

Ruby was preceded in death by her parents; husband; a son, Jack E. Plake; five sisters and two brothers.

Services will be 10 a.m. Saturday at Porter Funeral Home, Tipton, with Pastor Jim Bradley officiating. Burial will be in Normanda Cemetery. Visitation will be 6 to 8 p.m. Friday at the funeral home.

Memorials may be made to the Diabetes Association"

I like this one simply because she married a guy named ditty. I hope they were happy because his name would make arguments a little difficult.

spatula, 3 cars, 1 rock & indiana jones

2009-05-15T10:14:00.001-07:00

Those are the items I found while cleaning my fridge.

Who knew?

2009-05-08T07:50:00.000-07:00

Kokomo Tribune; Kokomo, Indiana - Robert Lamar Miller

This is one of my favorite obits. I wonder if his roommates in the nursing home knew who they were sharing a space with. I wonder if his neighbors knew he loved to travel and had seen more than most of us will experience. I wonder if the people he loved took advantage of the lessons he learned? I adore the way his marrige is described. I wonder if after all the years of his life, Robert Lamar Miller, still told his story.

Good to meet you, Elmer

2009-04-27T09:23:00.000-07:00

Kokomo Tribune; Kokomo, Indiana - Elmer Herman Oaks Sr.

There is no easy way to break this too you.....but I like reading the obits. Just the people who die when they are up there in age. I think older folks are a source of knowledge you can't find in a book. I found this obit today and I thought this would be a man I would like to know, he could have been a rotten old coot but for my purposes he is just someone I would have loved to sit down and talk to. It seems like he lived a very hard working, interesting life. Older people usually have the best names too, names that have just gone out of style. Check this guy out! imagine the stories he could tell.

weekend movie quotes

2009-04-20T04:30:00.001-07:00

Cold Mountain:

They made the weather then they stand outside and say shit it's raining

He's so full of manure, we could plant him and grow another one

Will Ferell:
You are a smelly pirate hooker

Dear tiny Jesus, with your golden, fleece diapers, with your tiny fat balled up fist.

Last of the Mohicans:
Someday I think you and I are going to have a serious disagreement
No, you submit, do you hear? You be strong, you survive, you say alive, no matter what occurs! I will find you, no matter how long it takes, now matter how far. I will find you.

Meet the spectacle of the day-Susan Boyle

2009-04-16T05:12:00.001-07:00

Susan Boyle, I think this story is awful. Oh everyone is talking about it under the guise of she has a great voice but the reality of it is that people are saying that Susan, in the package she was born in, is totally unacceptable and how much they are taken back by her voice, basically an ugly candy with a nice beautiful center. How much is damage is being done to this woman with all the air time discussions? The focus is now removed from her voice. Blogs a blazin' ,talking about not judging the standard book by it's cover. They are in a sense saying, hey you- British girl, you are ugly and we are surprised you could do that. As if talent can only come in a certain form. Why isn't the discussion about her talent? So, we as a society have learned how to take a really great moment and throw rocks at it. The arrogance we show in declaring a person's value is amazing. Let's be honest, we are turning this woman's proud moment into a freak show. In the end, I think it will be interesting to see what happens to her music career. Will she be given the opportunity to use her obvious gift? It doesn't look promising- but then again isn't that what started this whole business?

2009-03-18T05:23:00.001-07:00

8 things people don't know about me

2009-01-21T12:29:00.000-08:00

Becca on the first hundred posted 33 things people don't know about her. I guess I am just not that fascinating or I tell my business too much either way I could only come up with 8

1. I play the piano very well,
2. I can arrange music, direct a choir and can play just about anything by ear
3. I can't make a pork roast taste the way I want it too, I have given up- but should the pork roast decided to sing a few notes, I can tell you what note it is
4. Can't stand the texture of pears
5. Have never seen ET
6. I have watched the Last of the Mohegans 15 times, P.S. I love you 5
7. Can't stand to have painted finger nails
8. Can't stand to be touched by other people's feet

Big hats and blowing noses

2009-01-21T07:37:00.000-08:00

I wouldn't call the swearing in of our president that entertaining. Although I can appreciate the significance of the moment, I can really appreciate the following:

Aretha's Hat- An Aretha present all wrapped up with a pretty bow.

Reporters: Resort to cliche's: A new sheriff in town is but one journalistic gold nugget they used yesterday, but they say it with such flair, they almost make you believe that they just made it up themselves and if it doesn't garner comments from their reporter friends they will used it again, and again. Like a circus monkey waiting for applause.

Flag Hats: I saw quite a few audience members on the lawn with flags stuck to both sides of their hats. Nothing says importance like patriotic paraphernalia glued to the side of a hat.

People will sit for hours and watch other people get in and out of cars and climb up and down the stairs.

The actual swearing in is rather quick and anti-climatic. I wanted tears from someone, I got nothing. I did however get to see George Sr, blow his nose, which pretty looked the same way I blow mine, so again nothing exciting.

That family that pukes together

2009-01-12T06:58:00.000-08:00

It's had been almost three years since our last family stomach bug weekend. We took advantage of the cold weather and decided to stay inside and throw-up for a grand total of 26 times between three of us. Please note that this total does not include trips to the bathroom for other unpleasantness. I have determined that the longest distance from point A to B is my bedroom to the bathroom. Last time, the bathroom was right in my bedroom, but not this time. If you are lucky enough to have a master bedroom with a bath attached, I covet your space. Reason number #51 it is time to buy a new house. It is extremely humbling to call your babysitter and ask her to bring over some sprite and Gatorade but as the two adults could not stand up and the five year old doesn't drive, we had no choice. What is worse the five year old has a raging case of strep on top of his stomach bug. He spend the last two weeks getting sick because of strep and the past weekend getting sick from a virus. He has lost 3 pounds which he definitely could not afford to do. I on the other had have managed to purge myself of 5 pounds with I definitely had in savings to spend.

Stop saying that

2009-01-02T08:41:00.000-08:00

Happy birthday Jesus
the office of presidential elect - read of previous post, its a staples office podium with a made up seal, sprinkle in some fairy dust and you have a new official office.
Any variation of Obama
crisis
downturn
economy
destroyed
mortgage

PLEASE START USING THESE WORDS

porcupine-it's not used that often, and it is fun to say; Think "the office of porcupine elect"
sprinklyspackle
upsidewards

Thank you, sprinklyspackle porcupine

God is up to nothing

2008-12-31T08:11:00.000-08:00

While on a milk run to wallytown, The title of a book "God is up to something excellent" got my attention. My thought? What if God is up to nothing. What if what is, really is- just is. In my mind, offering people God has a plan as an explanation for anything is trite and dangerous. I like the what is, is- idea. What if we are all here just because of the mechanics of creation that was set in motion? maybe this thought should trouble me but it just doesn't. I am comfortable with my place in the universe. Good things happen to people who don't deserve it and Bad things happen to people who don't deserve it. It just is. I think our "purpose" is to grasp our own humanity and frailty, try to extend the hand of mercy and forgiveness and laugh is much a possible, cry when necessary and keep moving until this part of life is over.

Time to P

2008-12-19T04:44:00.000-08:00

I have enjoyed my semi-vacation from all things electronic. Is it possible to experience internet peer pressure or in my case blog pressure? I think so. So, I have decided to blog once in a while instead of trying to come up with something clever to say. The truth is I'm only amusing in short spurts and sometimes only to myself. So....what is my observation thus far? I don't recall any other president creating his own office. It's like a pretend game of president that a five year old decided to play complete with a podium and presidential elect seal? Really now, what power does he have at this point? We are all just going along with it. My five year old plays like this sometimes, He pretends to be a super hero policeman and we all go along with it -being sent to jail and then rescued all at the same time. That is all.

Done for now

2008-09-23T06:50:00.000-07:00

I'm done blogging-for now. I feel chained to my e-mail, my blog & and all things computer. I don't like it, I'm considering getting rid of my cell phone or going to emergency only usage. My life was much more peaceful and serene without all the noise. When I was first married, we went for almost a year without cable & Internet. I slept a lot better. I may check in from time to time but not anytime soon. Have a good one.

Nature vs Nurture

2008-09-18T06:15:00.002-07:00

For all you sensitive people, I am going to be using some clinical words, so just cover your eyes. Yesterday, on my way to take my 5 year old to the store, my son said Girls (wait for it.....) don't have a penis, they have a vagina. I said yes that's right. I was hoping the conversation would end there but it did not. He continued on with the v-jay jay, pondering. Can you see a vagina when your naked, I said yes. Then, he said in his best distraught voice -I'm never going to see a vagina, hey maybe someone will wear a vagina costume at Halloween. My vote goes to nature.

Things I have never been pt 2

2008-09-15T06:20:00.000-07:00

I have never been kissed by a little person
I have never kicked a giant in the face
I have never eaten chicken off the bone
I have never been shark bait.
Record-Tying Shark Bite Reported - Orlando News Story - WKMG Orlando: "VOLUSIA COUNTY, Fla. -- A record-tying shark bite was reported in Volusia County Sunday.
A 32-year-old man was knocked over by a wave in Ormond Beach and then bitten on the foot by the shark Sunday, officials said.
The victim was able to drive himself to the hospital for treatment."

Did you know....?

2008-09-15T05:55:00.000-07:00

That ants will consume Tylenol? I do. This morning after putting the little guy down for a nap, I went to the kitchen and there on the counter was a bottle of grape flavored Tylenol (on its side) covered by little busy ants. Instead of grabbing for the bug spray and cleaner, I just watched. I was really surprised that they didn't get bogged down with the goop and even more surprised that Ants get headaches and fever. I'm not sure of the dosage but I'm pretty confident that about 200+ ants will experience some type of liver damage. If cirosis doesn't get them then the Atom bomb I am about to spray on them will.

Running angst and other superior exits

2008-09-02T06:23:00.000-07:00

When did superior exits go out of style? This morning I was watching the Waltons (as in good night, John Boy) In this episode, one of the girls ran out of a party to her room. I don't recall ever being so upset that I would run out of a room. I think it would just call attention to a very uncomfortable moment, plus everyone would know you were upset. Then, they would all dialog about the possible reasons you were upset. Perhaps, you weren't upset at all but just like to run from room to room, just think of all the explanations you would have to give. Which would kill your fun as well as slowing the running pace way down. The idea of using running away as a vehicle for emotional expression is not very useful. First, an elevator is out of the question and if you're in a vehicle, you would have to choose your terain and timing very carefully. The slow down would take the edge off the flair and ruin the suprise element plus we all know the dangers of the wild. Consider the creatures of the forest. We would not like them to run through our living room, no matter how mad they were. It's all about mutal respect, my friends. In additon, bears.... they lack empathy and they don't care if your upset. I want to be a part of the solution so I have though of a more productive exit. I suggest that instead of running out of a room, we should just stand and turn circles. It's more attention getting and have you ever tried not laughing while spontaneoulsy spining round and round? Not possible, its a win/ win.

Dating Scrotum, gay guys, and breeders

2008-08-27T21:53:00.000-07:00

I went on a date with a guy named Mark, I later found out his nickname was Scrotum.
3 guys I dated for short period of time, were in fact gay.
2 guys I were crazy about got other girls pregnant while dating me

So at last tally, 1 scrotum, 3 not hetro, 2 johnny spreadyourseed.

the genius of teletubbies

2008-08-27T20:36:00.000-07:00

Obama will accept the nomination tomorrow. Is there another way that this was going to go? Is anyone confused and in suspense about his decision. Are there little democrats glued to the recliners, just waiting. What if he says....maybe? I think they should take a lesson from the the teletubby play book. You see, when they want to rehash something, they shout again, again and the story that just played, starts up. It is clever, I mean it fills time, doesn't cost extra money to make and the kids like it. So I say, they should just replay the past weeks when Big O said, I have won the nomination, I want to be president, that's a yes isn't it? What if Hillary refused to accept he has won and delivers her own acceptance speech, who would tell her. That's when he could shout again, again and she could watch. Problem solved, thanks teletubbies.

The first hundred

2008-08-26T16:55:00.001-07:00

Check out this new blogger. Give her a shout and you can say you knew her when. I think she's gonna have a big crowd before long. Unlike me, who scrapes by on a few crumbs.

Parents

2008-08-26T06:11:00.001-07:00

My husband's car would not start this morning. GRRRR. I was grumpy because I know what my day has now turned into. We will have to load up the whole family, drop my son off at school, then drop my husband off at work, then come home. At 2:30, I will pick up my son, come back home for 1 1/2 hours then load two kids back into my chariot and pick Craig back up from work. In between, I will call AAA, they will tow his car, I will wait for the garage to call. BUT, as I am dropping off my 5 year old at school, Craig gets out of the car to walk him in. Just as they reach the door, I hear my little guy tell his dad to walk behind him because he is learning the way. In one of the rare moments of clarity, I understand that our purpose as parents is to walk with our children until they ask us to walk behind them and follow. Is there any higher purpose in life? Is there any greater reward than the moment when they ask us to follow. I don't think so.

Project #1,

2008-08-19T14:10:00.000-07:00

Find the camera. My camera has gone MIA, I know one little boy who probably has first hand knowledge of its whereabouts but is refusing to talk. I have to take total responsibility for that because I didn't put it back where........This leads me to project #1, Clean out the closets, add some more containers, label them. I think I might be able to keep track of my stuff. A major victory this week, I have cooked every night since Sunday. This is a big deal for me. I finally figured out that the reason I did not like to cook every night was the clean up. Now my husband and oldest son take care of that. Happy days for me. We have been in the process of remodeling our house since we moved in (3 years ago). I am pleased to announce that we are almost done with the tile project in the basement and the recess lighting is going as planned, soon the family room will return to the family room and the basement will be a full fledged play area. I refuse to take the boys down there until the bug guy can come and prevent any little critters from being down there. In Kentucky, we have these huge crickets (called cave crickets) they don't make any noise but they can jump very high. I have seen one downstairs and haven't been the same since.

Yikes

2008-08-18T06:33:00.000-07:00

I am overdrawn, I made a huge mistake in the checkbook. I forgot an automatic payment to the tune of 272.00. My overdraft protection will make it okay. What have I learned? Write everything down. My memory is not up to par these days so I can't rely on my brain to catch me. What have I learned? I spend too much money. What have I learned? stress messes with your whole life. This is not one of my favorite days.

Let me out of here

2008-08-08T07:17:00.001-07:00

Today was the first full day of school for my little guy. I have been dreaming of this day for almost a year. To have a house that can stay clean for more than an hour, down time, projects I can finally get too. A stay at home mom's version of success. I was a little sad at first, now I am a lot sad. I have spent 5 years with this guy, just about every day, teaching him, talking to him, interacting with him and some days the conversations I have with him is the only other "grown up" talk I get until my husband gets home. Today, it is very quiet. I miss him. He was ready to go, he has always been a people person. He wants to be around other kids 24/7. My son thrives when he is around other kids and gets really down when he is at home too much. Of course, like many other first time parents, I think of the nest analogy. Us pushing him to the edge of the nest, giving him a nudge, the little bird would hang on for dear life, only to drop and see he didn't die. That is not us. Instead, my little bird has pushed us out of the way and jumped all by himself. Don't get me wrong, I am happy he gets to start his life. He will be happy, we will be happy. Right now, I want him back in my nest, bugging me to play. This is good for me because I have at times taken my time with my kids for granted, so I think I have been pushed out of the nest a little bit too. The message for me today is BE PRESENT, everyday because one day my second little guy will want to jump too. I need a tissue.

How pissed do you have to be

2008-08-04T09:44:00.000-07:00

This just in: A man on a bus in Canada, stabbed and cut the head off a fellow passenger. Across the world another man, decapitates his girlfriend, parades the head through town, throws it at police and runs over two doctors as he is trying to get away. Did I mention, the police accidentally shot a bystander trying to catch this guy? I guess I have never hated a person enough to want to make their head disappear. What kinds of weapons do these guys carry around. An axe would be noticeable and maybe give the intended victims a heads up (pun intended) and a knife would take a while and if your that pissy you are short on the patience that's needed for job like that. Just a thought.

thanks

2008-07-28T15:10:00.000-07:00

Thank you for never leaving me even when I was running as far and fast as I could,
Thank you for letting me choose my own path, even when it turned out a disaster.
Thank you for allowing me to experience such sorrow that for a while crippled me
Thank you for letting me wallow in my own humanity, only to clean me up and watch me do it again (and again)
Thank you for reminding me, that it is not me who is holding on to you, but that you are holding on to me.
My arms are not strong enough to hold on when so much is pulling at me feet, My heart is not wise enough to not want the things that destroy me.

RSVP if you want to live

2008-07-24T11:25:00.001-07:00

This is a picture of the daughter of one of the most feared mobsters in Italy. The guy next to her is her new husband. How scared is he? If they get into a fight, does she run home to daddy or does daddy's "marriage counselor's" come to the house? Either way, I'm pretty sure this is a long term agreement until death they do part, which may not be too long if my reference to the Godfather movie is accurate. this brings up the next question do the kids call him grand godfather and is he the godfather in law. Suddenly my world seems very, very small.

The song that never ends

2008-07-20T17:31:00.000-07:00

My night has been like a song that is catchy at first but then won't leave you alone. Why won't my children go to sleep? They are tired, they are crabby, they are annoying me. I really want this night to end so that I can sit on the couch with Craig. It is a small request but will not happen soon. I call this little ditty moonlight waltz #5

Liam: Mama, I want something to eat, Mama I want something to drink. Mama am I doing good?
Grant: gibberish followed by daddy
Liam: Am I doing good? Am I doing good? Am I doing good?
Grant: gibberish followed by daddy
Me: We will shut your door if you are not quiet
Liam: will you shut the door after I get a drink?
Craig: You have a drink, We will shut your door if you say one more word
Liam: Is drink head a word?

Goodnight to all.

Walk with me.

2008-07-17T06:20:00.001-07:00

My new found blogging buddy, Heidi is crawling a tough path right now. Her road is stirring reflections in me. What do you do when the person you loved with, dreamed with and stood hand in hand, while the firing squad loaded the guns, is no longer on your left. Imagine being the object of ridicule, with tons of people waiting and most likely rejoicing over your loss. Put yourself in the place of the person standing there bleeding, with open sores just looking for a place to feel safe. What could you say to that person that would help in the least? I can't think of a single syllable that would ease that kind of suffering. I would like to paint a picture of what I would like to be to others. A silent walking partner, that follows in the distance, ready to pick you up, dust you off and continue following behind to make sure you get where your want to go safely. I won't tell you what direction to take or how to get there. I wouldn't possibly consider telling you how I got there last time. So, look behind you and you will see me.

Run, Running, Ran

2008-07-10T06:55:00.000-07:00

Just got back from the gym, I started interval training this week in an attempt to increase my speed. I chase down the release that comes from working out. For me it is an huge stress reliever. Yesterday, I caught my Liam hanging on the fireplace mantle (for the 550th time) He got busted and I said "what do you think I am going to say right now" He looked a little dazed but I could tell he was really thinking. So, I repeated it for him "So, What do you think I am going to say" he looked at me and said "Booty" you are going to say Booty. He was wrong.

Skin Crawl

2008-07-08T17:21:00.001-07:00

Here is the mouse story:

We had a mouse. I hate mice. I wanted to kill it. I found droppings on the counter. The counter, the place I prepare food for my family. To the everyday person this would be bad enough. For the person, like myself, who has made a career out of food service inspections, this was enough to make me insane. You see- mice can't hold their bladders....ever. They urinate as they walk. So when you see droppings you can be sure they have urinated a trail. (there just aren't enough adjectives to describe how I feel about this). I, being the freak that I am, cleaned a sanitized everything and then put all eating paraphernalia away in the fridge and microwave and plastic tubs. I was down to two pan lids, I filled up the sink put the bleach in. Pretty confident the mouse would not have access to the pans. We set traps, a little mine field. In the morning the traps were still set, I knew a mouse would not just disappear so I assumed we scared him off. I reached in the sink to let the bleach out and I felt a bump on my wrist. That's right kids, the mouse had fallen in the bleach water and had touched my arm. A bloated mouse corpse
No need to thank me.

INTRODUCING

2008-07-05T11:03:00.000-07:00

That's me on the left. The hair color is not the original. I paint the roof often. The teeth were quite expensive. Thanks to Tommy Bahama, I usually smell nice. Don't let the name fool you-the stuff is delicious I started running this year and I am really SLOOOOOOOOOW but it is all good. I hate picnics and I'm not a big fan of humid weather. I surround myself with music/ XM is my best friend. I changed careers midstream, but then had children and put my new career on hold. I got married in my early 30's, had kids in my late 30's and will not leave this planet until I am at least 100. What is your story?

Favorite List

2008-07-03T07:39:00.000-07:00

This is the short list of my favorite things.

Coke (the drinkable kind)
Dr. Scholls overnight foot cream
XM Radio 24/7
Barnes and Noble
Crest Ultra Bright Night Toothpaste (I did not realize that you needed a different toothpaste for day and night)
Mr. Clean
Josh Groban
Thunderstorms
Pinot Nior by Estangia
Basil
Dostoevsky
Trader Joes
Whole Foods
Aqua Panna

What are some of your favorite things

The last to know.

2008-07-01T06:18:00.000-07:00

As some of you know, I have a five year old and a 1 yr old. So.. I've been a mom for a while or at least I thought I was a mom. I'm good at the playing thing, doing stuff with the boys. I always thought I would just have one. When the first was born it was kind of like friends just hanging out, Craig was working on his masters, I stayed at home, we were poor but following a goal. For us, having one child was easy. Babysitters were easy, bedtime was easy, mealtimes were a snap. The little guy just went with the flow too. He went were we went. That was then. Now I have two boys and a busy husband. Today, yes just today-I realize I have to be a mom and wife. The kind of mom I am not. Organized. I have to plan, I need to make lunches ahead of time. I have to think about dinner before 6 or things go horribly wrong. Gone are the day in which we could pull our clothes out of the dryer and be good to go. There are too many people, doing too many things and I am at the helm. Me! They are looking to me to keep the home front, calm, organized and peaceful. Me! How did I miss this? I really think I need to grow up. I don't want too, she said slamming to door and putting her headphones back on.

To Gay or not to Gay

2008-06-30T05:51:00.000-07:00

Did the title shock you? Is it a taboo subject? For me it is not. No, I am not gay, I am a woman married to a man. I don't clarify that because I would be embarrassed if someone thought I was gay. I clarify that so that my words aren't viewed as someone who is pushing an agenda. I have a deep faith in God, I believe in right and wrong. I just don't know where this subject fits in and I don't want to know. I believe Paul mentions it but can't find anywhere (although I may be wrong) that Jesus does. What does that mean? I don't know. Jesus ate lunch with hookers and drunks, I don't read him spending his time telling them you are wrong, you are hookers and drunks. People of faith like to use this as an example of God's unconditional acceptance and love, his humility, but don't want to apply it in other situations. I have some friends, who believe that this is the way God made them and have relationships AND I have others who don't know and have chosen to remain single. Either way, I don't care. By the way, if I was gay...Angelina Joile would be my choice.

living gratefully

2008-06-26T05:50:00.000-07:00

This is my deep thought for this week, maybe this month.... Living gratefully- to me this means operating my life in a way that shows that everything is enough. For me, there is rumbling in my spirit in two specific areas. Money & Food. I have occasionally spent beyond our means. I shall come clean now, I have done that more than occasionally. Food, I have eaten way too much, all too often. I have lived in a way that says /not enough, what you have given me is not enough. The truth is that I have more than enough, really more than enough. Not in the humble, I'll be happy with what I have attitude but I have the cold hard facts to prove I have enough. A moment of clarity, when my eyes have been blurred and my thoughts foggy.

Full steam ahead.

2008-06-23T06:41:00.000-07:00

I'm still looking for a picture I like for my profile. This has caused me quite a bit of stress and I'm not even sure why. It's a picture for pity sake. Will people not read my blog because they don't like my pores? I suppose it's possible. I know where I am headed in the looks department. My great grandmother was full blooded Indian. I've seen it first hand with my own mother and aunts. We don't age well, in fact we kind of end up looking like Johnny Cash, really, we do. The Johnny Cash from his last video. In some sense it takes the worry out of wrinkles I mean if you end up looking like another gender, are wrinkles the worst of your problems? Craig is destined to look like the Al from Toy Story II. He is very handsome now and I'm sure he will be handsome forever, but in all honesty, we will end up looking like interracial transgender gay couple from a pixar film. mmmm tasty.

More to kill

2008-06-20T06:17:00.001-07:00

I bought some more plants yesterday. I don't know why, I am not good with flowers, Have never been good with flowers and I'm pretty sure one day the trees are going to fall on me out of spite. I want to apologize to mother nature right now. I think I'm a serial killer, I can't stop, I need a plant fix. They look so good. I will take a pic and post it. A before and after shot. They should create a department of plant services, to investigate plant abuse and remove the plants from homes like mine. I'm off to drive on some grass.

Did you ever.....

2008-06-18T11:39:00.000-07:00

did you ever wonder what happens if you drop anything through the crack in the elevator floors? You know the ones right below the threshold. Neither had I until today. My son had my keys and as the door to the elevator opened he dropped them right in that 3 inch crack in the doorway. This is what happens if you drop anything through the crack in the elevator floor. They have to find some guy in the building maintenance department who is in the middle of something way more important than you, to come and lock the upper floor elevators, walk down 5 flights of stairs and open the hatch to the floor and jump down and fish them out. This happened at lunch time with cranky, hungry children. awesome.

What is wrong with me

2008-06-17T05:20:00.000-07:00

I woke up at 5:30 this morning. That is not the problem. The baby woke up looking for his pacifier, which we could not find. This annoyed me because I always put extras (as in more than one) back in the basket, next to the crib, next to the nightlight to see the thorns in my side when they are needed- say at 5:30 in the morning. God love the man, but I can not get Craig to sign on to this mysterious program. This is where I lost my mind. I needed to discuss it right then, not in one hour when we would be awake and nice, but right then. After the ridiculous timing of the pacifier debate) I decided to bring up his guitar and music left scattered all over the family room floor-2nd day in a row. I thought I was nice about it, but really at 5:30 in the morning, how nice could I be? This is not my style, usually I just deal with what is- instead of what should be. Having this kind of conversation in the wee hours of dawn is just stupid. I had to call Craig and say sorry (about the timing). What is wrong with me? I'm going to blame it on global warming.

Because I know

2008-06-16T07:39:00.000-07:00

Have you ever thought of how much our children can teach us about God? Right now, my son is in his crib, crying his eyes right out of his skull. He is very tired-only I don't think he knows it yet. You see, I know him. I have been learning his habits for a year now. Just about every moment in my life is spent watching him. I can see the way he gets very quiet just before he needs to sleep or the way he starts to rub his forehead on his blanket right before he can't stand it anymore. I also know that if he doesn't rest he will not function the rest of the day. He will be cranky and nothing with be enjoyable with him or for him. If he doesn't give up, he will be exhausted and unable to rest. I think God does that for us too. He watches us, He know us. He can let us cry because he knows we need to rest.

Crazy for breakfast.

2008-06-11T07:21:00.001-07:00

I began my morning feeling quite peaceful. Then it happened....My son and I have been invited to come over for an play date. I don't know the people all that well. We have already had one outing at the park and that went okay but I get so nervous meeting people on their own turf. What are the rules for said meeting. Next, My littlest one has developed a new way to get your attention, we call it the scream and not just any old scream but a high pitched, primal, make your teeth hurt scream. To put some ice cream with my cake. I had to buy a new phone and I can't figure out how to program it yet. The good news is that I can access my XM from my phone, the bad news is that I can't listen from all the screaming and small talk foolery.

Voted off the Island

2008-06-09T05:48:00.000-07:00

This morning my son got really mad at me "You are never going to be a part of this family again" and then took me by the hand and told me I had to stay in the basement from now on. I was shocked, hurt and amused all at the same time. Where does he learn this? I told him that he looked really upset and maybe going to have some private time might help him to feel better so that he doesn't use hurtful words. To which my sweet, kind boy said "I will after you tell me where your going to live now" I am the weakest link. Goodbye

I really need to P

2008-06-06T19:19:00.001-07:00

I really need to P-In the conventional, slang term that would mean to rid the body of (gross alert) urine. But for my purpose and because my name starts with P, it means I really need to vent. I drank a really big glass of 24 hour news programming and I need to P.

Why do we need a 24/7 news program? The networks usually run out of important things to say in about 10 minutes. It's not that there isn't other more pertinent stuff happening in the world, it is just that they don't talk about it. Have you ever watched the BBC, they cover the news from everywhere. They don't add conjecture or have commentators, they just tell what they see and know. As far as I can see this is how the 24/7 news programming is:

They cover all the big stories but have 23 hrs and 50 minutes left to fill so they have some actress/newscaster ask her second cousin on the mother's side to comment on why we should be afraid of scurvy during the summer. Then to comment on the comment we have the camera operator's best friend from middle school comment on the comment.

I think they should just be upfront and use this mantra. BE AFRAID, BE AFRAID, IT'S HORRIBLE, BE AFRAID.

We are not going to spontaneously explode! We are not going to die from mad cow's disease in the next 15 minutes. The majority of people in the rest of the world, do not sit around thinking about us as much as we think about ourselves. These are news stories because they are out of the norm. Please everyone, read a book, take a walk, eat some ice cream. Turn off the TV.

I feel better.

Dinner Anyone?

2008-06-06T14:25:00.001-07:00

We drove for 45 minutes, paid the babysitter $50 and I would do it again tomorrow. This is our favorite chain restaurant in Louisville. I had the cashew chicken, Craig had the wok seared beef and we ordered crab wantons. The food was melt in your mouth, unbelievably delicious. Now, here is where the day gets even better. My soup (that came with my meal) was delivered after my main course. It was okay with us, we noticed but no big deal. The manager took it upon himself to give us coupons for two free dinners. We made sure we saved room for their desert snippets. I don't know the real name for them but they are samples of deserts in shot glasses for $2 a piece. We ordered the wall of chocolate which is a chocolate cake with raspberry sauce. The server thought we wanted the Tiramisu too and made us another sample, but when we said we didn't order it she said, we could have it on the house. So...Craig ate the Tiramisu and a few bites of the choc. cake. Then off to Builders surplus to look for new doors. They had a front door for $5000.00 I think I've been in the middle class too long- but $5000.00 for a door? It opens and closes just like my $400 door? Open, close ; Open, close- it's the same. Here is my question. If you could afford a $ 5000 door, would you buy it from a surplus place and load it and unload it yourself? I would not, I would pay someone to buy it for me, load/unload it, install it...then get me a glass of wine and maybe a snack and rub my feet.

When I go

2008-06-04T06:06:00.000-07:00

Today I'm thinking about my legacy. This is how I want my children to describe me.

loving, honest, strong, resilient, kind, faithful, present, funny, happy, patient, smart,

The question I needed to answer was this: Is the way I live, reflecting the legacy I want? For the most part yes, until I get to the present and patient parts. I have to work, sometimes very hard to be present- I'm a stay at home mom and being excited about kids 24/7 is impossible. Often I wonder if my children need so much because I'm not present enough. Physically, I most always around but to be connected to the moment-I'm not so sure. The question of my life? How can I be present for them, when at times I don't even feel present for myself? Help! someone throw me a cheerio, I'm drowning in a sea of reflection. If you can't find one, just look on my family room floor.

P

Chap stick fetish

2008-06-02T10:24:00.000-07:00

I have 15 tubes of chap stick. I have stashed a tube in every conceivable location in my home and car. I have 3 in my purse and one attached to a key ring. 2 in the diaper bag (one in each pocket), 1 in the family room, living room and bathroom, 2 in my bedroom, (one in each nightstand). and 2 in my overnight bag. The rest are unopened in the bathroom closet. It started quite innocently with chapped lips in the winter but after finding a tube in my purse with crumbs on it (my 5 yr old). I decided that I needed to keep the love to myself. So, you see I have one 1 for children to use, 1 for my honey and the rest (she laughs maniacally) for myself. I can't even remember how I bought so many, I never find them on sale, I haven't treked the desert and don't recall being in a recent drought. I may have a problem.

Gross Mom Stuff

2008-05-27T12:13:00.000-07:00

If you have kids, you have weird, gross things that happen all the time. Three days ago, my 12mo old had a little ring like thing on his lower back, two days later it is all over his behind. I did some reading and thought it might be ring worm. I was a little miffed because I am neurotic about changing diapers but I took him to the doctor today and it appears I was right. The prescription was $7, not too bad. What I was amazed to find is that iyou can see a picture of just about any rash, illness or horrible thing that could happen to a person. Today I found the Mercedes of sites that actually made a slide show of ringworm pictures. Now, I ask you. Do you need moving pictures of a skin fungus? I do not, still i thought you might be short on entertainment and want to share in the wealth. Know of any other "interesting" sites? Let me know.

Right On, P

http://www.medicinenet.com/ringworm-pictures-slideshow/article.htm

P's Movie Review

2008-05-23T16:17:00.000-07:00

Back from the Movie! A breath of fresh Jones Air. Classic Movie scenes with great stunts with an engaging story line At first, I was a little worried about good ole' Harrison because he seemed kind of rusty but he didn't let us down. Shea Lebouf was an excellent choice for sidekicks but I didn't quite get enough of Cate Blanchett. I definitely thought the prairie dog stuff made Spielberg look like he was trying too hard (just think Jar Jar Binks). The monkey scene was silly, awkward and distracting. Overall, the movie was a great escape from reality. I rate my movies on the following, matinee price, full price or rental value or only see on basic cable, saturday night at 12:30 While we did pay matinee price....Full price was deserved.

Movie Night in the pole barn.

2008-05-23T10:36:00.001-07:00

Going to see Indiana Jones with my honey. Babysitter will be here at 4, movie and popcorn at 4:30. Yes, I know it is early but hey, by the time we fork over $25 for babysitting, pay for the tickets, buy snacks, it's a pretty good slice of cake. The only thing we are not too fond of is the actual theater. We are so spoiled. When we lived in Phoenix the ushers wore jackets and ties. There were 26 screens, you could buy tickets on line. It was our paradise. Now that we live in Ken-tucky (for us northerners) or Kan-tuc-key (for the southerners) the theater is in a huge pole barn looking building. Still, we are blown up excited for our date night even if it is in a giant pole barn.

Grammar

2008-05-22T08:25:00.000-07:00

I just realized that I have an excessive need to use the comma. I know for sure that I place the comma in places where I pause and when I'm thinking, I pause a lot. I think they add a dramatic flair. So, when you read my blog try to imagine a deep thinker pausing to ponder the deepness that is her thoughts, covered in baby slobber with a bruise from when her five year old threw his power ranger at the blocks and missed.

Ghost Hunters

2008-05-22T08:00:00.000-07:00

Every week, my honey and I watch Ghost Hunters, mostly because it is fascinating and the show often just raises more questions which lead to pretty funny discussions. Okay, here are my questions/observations.

1. Why would a ghost be stuck anywhere and do they get to choose. Quite of few of these "spirits" are bound to wherever they died or worked. Now, my first job was in a restaurant and if the rules are,you stay where you worked, I definitely would be an angry ghost. What if you died from a bear attack, do you haunt the bear or just the woods.

2. Why do a good portion of the EVP's say "Get Out" If I'm a ghost and I can finally be heard, I am not going to send away the only people who can hear me. I would say Get me out of the restaurant/woods and away from the bear.

3. I'm not sure..but if the spirit drains energy sources why do the lights on the camera man's equipment always stay on, along with the recording equipment. Why not the drain the battery on the vehicles and get a real jolt of energy.

Here is my disclaimer: We love the show, some strange unexplainable things happen. Also, we have our own faith system that explains things for us. So....please no hate mail and don't haunt us. Go Jay and Grant.

Wisdom?

2008-05-20T05:49:00.001-07:00

Hold on to your seats while I digress into a little verbal tantrum. I have read 5 different blogs (other than mine) today and there will inevitably be one of these "I thank God for the wisdom he has given you" sort of comment. Please let me say from where I am sitting, wisdom is a sanitized word for knowledge of failure. People are not just magically or mystically given a dose of wisdom, we earn it. Every last mistake, if we are paying attention and don't like pain, we will acquire this knowledge of failure. I guess if I go by my own definition, than I am really, really wise. I have made a lot of mistakes, a good portion with my eyes wide open. The problem I see is that when we put human beings up on a pedestal for being more than we are, we are setting ourselves up for disappointment, As well as cutting our "hero" off from the rest of us, leaving them to fend for themselves. Tantrum Over... I need a nap. Irritation is exhausting.

Why?

2008-05-19T09:07:00.000-07:00

I've been on this planet for a while and have seen, done and thought about doing a lot of things but I have never thought of this. Playing hi-ya with the dog with a steak knife (my five year old, three days ago). Booby trapping the family room with the garbage from the trash (again, my five year old) for the dog, while chasing him with the vacuum attachment. Finally, pouring his juice box all over his baby brother, just "because he was thirsty" So in case you are wondering what the outcome or consequences of these ideas were. I'll fill you in. The hi-ya game resulted in a Huge gash in my boy's thumb, which meant he missed Tucker (the 70 lb yellow lab, that owns us)
and Tucker was unscathed. We debated on stitches, my loving spouse said just patch him up but looking back, stitches might have been in order, because the next day during his soccer practice, he pulled the bandages off and bled all over the place, which he thought was pretty cool. He told everyone a bear got him, He probably should have booby trapped the playing field. About the mine/booby trap field (family room) My son had to clean up his mess with a stern warning that the trash stays in the trash can. Finally, I gave the baby a bath and again a conversation with my son about not pouring ANYTHING on his brother. Now that your a year older,
How do you spend your day?

The hardest job

2008-05-19T08:43:00.000-07:00

I have concluded the hardest job I will or have ever had is being a parent. I know that is not news to so many people but I'm semi-new at it. My kids are only 5 and 1 and they are both boys to boot. I didn't grow up with brothers so....the things they can do are at times flat out weird and foreign to me. For me, the hardest part of my job is not knowing what to do. Most everything else in life comes with instructions but not this. You never know if you're doing the right thing or not and you won't know for many years to come. Today, my five year old has spent countless minutes in the naughty seat. Forget all of this, just now my little guy came in and said. "I just came in to see if you want to share my cheetos Gotta go.

P

come and rest

2008-05-18T09:01:00.000-07:00

Three words that can mean so much. Today, I am reminded that there are plenty of people who need to hear.. come and rest. I won't ask you to explain yourself. I won't demand that you give back. I won't expect you to be anything...just rest. I don't need to know what you did or didn't do. I don't care where you have been or the wreck that you left behind. Just come and rest.

P